Before coming across Srila Prabhupada’s books, I was living in amnesia. Wasn’t sure of my real identity nor what the purpose to my existence was.
Spending years in frustration, reading several books, listening to lectures after lectures and up all night wondering what was I to do? I came to a period in my life, where I felt what was the use? Somehow as a result I found myself being sucked in fear, in doubt and in information that I found wasn’t nourishing my inner-being.
I thought how ironic that we’ve advanced economically, technologically and even medically and still we cannot seem to resolve the problems that continue to still remain with all our intelligence. We cannot prevent from the high percentage increase of mental health problem and suicide, and there’s never been a time where information has been so accessible and with all that knowledge, we haven’t learnt the real meaning and significance of compassion, love, tolerance, support and care.
I was wondering what kind of world have I been living? What have I woken up to? What is this insanity, where we do for more in increasing the standard of our living whilst the standard of our life becomes degraded? Where our happiness becomes the cost of someone else’s suffering. Although by now, we know of these truth as it’s constantly exposed to us, nevertheless we endeavour hard to tuck in under the carpet and never to look back on it again.
The reason is because all these misfortune we are experiencing, at least I felt, was telling me there’s no real satisfaction in it, that I was living a life not coherent to my existence as a spiritual being. That somehow I was given a responsibility but was being irresponsible and as a result causing more grief than relief to the Earth and those around me.
I felt hopeless and society was simply attempting to reap as much benefit from my insecurity by constantly flashing new technology, latest holidays and resorts or the recent spiritual practice to try and make me oblivious to the problems and truth of the world.
Although we speak so much about the truth, I was beginning to wonder what really the truth was. More importantly, how could I access and from whom could I approach this truth. We’re drowning in information and starving for wisdom. However, by inquiring and seeking, the path to self-discovery led me to the science of self-realization and chant and be happy.
These books became my companion and guide amidst all the confusion I was going through. Up until when I first got my hand on Prabhupada’s book. I enjoyed reading but never made anything out of it. I thought books were book and that was it. However, Srila Prabhupada’s book gave me access to saints and sages, who at every step in my life ever since I’ve felt their presence and guidance through the instruction they’ve laid in these book for humanity.
I no longer had to refer to any other source, to resolve the dilemmas and emotions in my life, because they laid the foundation to lead a life of simplicity and higher consciousness through the most practical means and for the first time I felt I was able to dismantle all the confusion and unwind all the sounds in order to hear the real consciousness within that’s been attempting to connect and communicate with me for all these decades.
I was no longer affected by the opinions of my friends, my family and the general society. Who laid their own value and principle for how life should be led and lived. Instead, these books gave me courage to break several expectations and status quo in order to walk a path many wouldn’t walk, in order to reap spiritual benefit that many don’t.
To do that not long ago was a mission impossible. As I was really dependent and living on the opinions of others but coming to my spiritual sense, Srila Prabhupada’s book encouraged me to come the understanding that in this world what we really are lacking and need is Krishna’s love in order to be fulfilled. Otherwise, with everything the world has to offer, there’ll just never be enough for our greed to be quenched.
Lastly, Srila Prabhupada’s book gave me confidence of the future without knowing what that future would look like. Often, in our lives we’re afraid of the uncertainty that awaits us in life. For instance, not as if we anticipated for COVD-19 to happen. Nevertheless, it has. Factually, ever since, we’ve become afraid to socialise though we want to socialise, we want to go out but at the same time we’re afraid of what we may catch. We don’t realise that from birth, life comes with many risks and still we’re over endeavouring to arrange our lives in a way which we can feel 100% safe and secure. However, this isn’t possible…
I was that sort of person before Srila Prabhupada’s book. Afraid to live, what’s the use as I’m living to die? As a result, I was engulfed in the paralysis of overanalyses about practically everything in life to the point I was demotivated, fluctuated and in bed almost every day with no plans nor idea in how to move forward through uncertain times. However, Prabhupada’s book has allowed me to acknowledge that even in such a hopeless circumstance, there’s still a reason to be hopeful.
Through understanding to be a spirit soul that I am and building my relationship with God (Krishna), there’s practically nothing impossible and great leaps can be taken to make a difference and be fulfilled in my life.
May 15, 2022
Sunanda Das, Temple of the Vedic Planetarium