Prabhupada is Each Devotee’s Closest Friend

When I think of my relationship with Srila Prabhupada, which started in the summer of ’66 and continues eternally, I think the most crucial point is to always be able to turn to him.  Perhaps that is why I prefer to remember him in the early days of ISKCON, when turning to Prabhupada was as easy as walking into his room.  Our guru-disciple contract is still valid, perhaps even more valid now than it was fifty years ago, and I have come to value more his transcendental intimacy with Krishna.  Prabhupada let it be easy at the beginning.  But now I aspire for that greater intimacy.

The most important thing about Prabhupada is that he is a self-realized, pure devotee in парампары.  But where does that leave me?  Do I have a place with him?  I need a pure devotee in парампары to lead me out of the material world.  I don’t want to be left behind, wandering in майя.  I need him.

Certainly I am flawed and sometimes fear Prabhupada’s displeasure.  Perhaps he will reprimand me, or perhaps he will give me something new to do for him.  I’m not sure what to expect, and I sometimes doubt whether I will respond to him as fully as I should or want to.  Pleasing the spiritual master is a delicate thing—as conditioned souls, we are so filled with our own desires.  But I know Prabhupada accepts me anyway.  I have faith that he will help me now and always, and when I submit to the discipline of the spiritual master, these desires are dovetailed by him in Krishna’s service.

Prabhupada is a giant compared to me; he has something very great to give me, and he is just waiting for me to want it enough before he will give it to me.