Dissolving the “Illusory Prabhupada” 

We have to be patient with ourselves as we serve Prabhupada.  It is natural to select certain instructions that we think fit our situations and our personalities.  When we try to relate to the spiritual master as preachers, we even encourage newcomers to find something in Prabhupada’s teachings which they can follow wholeheartedly.  We just have to be careful not to present a watered down version of what Prabhupada is teaching.  Until we are pure, there will always be some trace of compromise in our ability to follow, but we should always seek to increase our surrender and to know internally who our spiritual master is and what he wants from us.  Even if there is some trace of illusion in ourselves, ultimately, there is nothing illusory about Prabhupada. 

A duality can sometimes exist between Prabhupada as he is and one’s conception of Prabhupada as we want him to be.  (There are many “Prabhupada saids” floating around our movement – how often do we hear “Prabhupada said” offered by someone trying to end an argument?)  Therefore, it is good for us to expose ourselves to the “real” Prabhupada as he wrote letters to people, as long as we carefully understand the context from which he is speaking.  Exposing ourselves to Prabhupada’s books and letters replaces any imagined idea of Prabhupada with the real person.  A search for the real Prabhupada has to be in a sensitive and ongoing way. 

We should not be afraid of the possibility that we have created an “illusory Prabhupada” within our minds.  It’s not like the “illusory Vasudeva” which the demon Salva created to dishearten Krishna on the battlefield.  Salva said, “Krishna, I have Your father here, and I’m going to cut off his head.  There’s nothing You can do about it.”  Salva then cut off the head of his mystic illusion.  When Krishna saw it, He appeared to be unhappy for a moment.  But since Krishna is never overcome by illusion, He then grew more determined to fight.  Any service to Prabhupada is valid.  If we are determined, we will gradually work out our misconceptions of Prabhupada.  We are never cut off from the mercy.

The Prabhupada we worship and who appeals to us is our inspiration for devotional service.  Salva used the “illusory Vasudeva” in an attempt to harm Krishna.  But if we worship Prabhupada, we will always be benefited.  With confidence in Prabhupada’s mercy, we can strive to cut away too much compromise in our service and to respond to Prabhupada as he is.