A Neophyte Prepares for Initiation (Part 2)

When the first initiation came on Janmastami, I hadn’t been following for even two months so I passed it up, but then I felt sorry.  The boys who were initiated seemed happy with their red beads, and I felt left out.  I did not have a spiritual name.  Soon afterward, I overheard someone say that there was going to be another initiation on Radhastami in two weeks’ time.

Hayagriva asked me, “Are you going to get initiated?”

I said, “I’d like to.  I think I’m ready this time.  What do I have to do?”

“You should ask Swamiji I guess, to see if it’s all right with him.”

So I went up and said, “Swamiji, I heard there’s going to be another initiation.  I would like to be initiated.”

Prabhupada was calm about my request.  He was never hasty.  He took his time, weighing things deeply, and yet at the same time he seemed casual.  He was more at home in New York City than I was, especially in his room, which had become an asrama.  When I went into his room, the room of the guru, which was kept so simple and spiritual, I was the self-conscious one and he was perfectly at ease.  He was like a lotus sitting on the dirty waters of New York City, floating above it all.  And he was all alone; there was no other devotee dressed in dhoti with Vaisnava tilaka – just Prabhupada, alone and chaste to the parampara and to his Guru Maharaja.  He was determined.  And now some little success had come in starting ISKCON.

I said, “I would like to get initiated.”

Prabhupada replied, “You’ll have to be a strict vegetarian.”

I said, “I already am, Swamiji.  I’m already a vegetarian.”

“All right,” he said.

The meeting was over almost as soon as it had begun.  I like to claim that we all had access to Prabhupada whenever we wanted, and that’s true.  But we always knew that we weren’t his equals or buddies.  We did not want to waste his time.  But to be able to go personally, even for a brief moment, and have him personally approve my initiation, was worth everything.  So I was in and out of his room within a few minutes.  He had accepted me!

Rupanuga Prabhu tells a similar story about going up to see Swamiji and asking for initiation.  He had a speech prepared in his mind and he kept rehearsing it, “My dear Swamiji, will you kindly accept me as your disciple and teach me about Krishna consciousness?”  But when he went up to Swamiji’s room, he only said, “Swamiji, will you make me your disciple?” And Prabhupada said, “Yes.”  So Rupanuga dropped the rest of his speech.  He thought, “There’s nothing else to say.  He has accepted me.”