I Had So Much Hardship 

About the Jaladutta voyage to America, he said, “It is a great history.  There were two days I had heart attacks on the ship.  I had so much hardship.”  We may only try to think of how Srila Prabhupada put up with such difficulties: vaiṣṇavera kriyā mudrā vijñeha nā bujhaya.  One can never understand the mind of a great Vaisnava, and although we are advised not to try to read his mind, yet we may worship Prabhupada’s example of tolerance and distress.  There is a great risk in assuming we can read devotees’ minds and motivations.  Yet we can just remember that on the Jaladutta voyage to America, Prabhupada twice experienced heart attacks.  And he continued to suffer strokes and many other maladies while discharging his duties on behalf of his spiritual master. 

When we are physically disposed, we may also meditate on how Srila Prabhupada does not reject us because of illness, and how he did not stop because of hardships.  We should not feel sorry for ourselves, or think that our spiritual master is unsympathetic to our material condition.  He himself has gone through pain; he knows that we are sincere and that we will work more actively on his behalf if we were fit.