Satsvarupa dasa Brahmacari, January 1966

Diary notes from morning lecture, Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya 21.35

Krishna is “home-ly” – He is proprietor of every place, but He has His own place.  We falsely claim a piece of land as ours.  Actually, nothing is ours.  There is a saying, “I beg vegetables to eat, and sleep in the marketplace, so where is my home?”  We claim land is ours, so there can be no peace.  Goloka is His abode in the spiritual sky.  Planets are round but Goloka is lotus-like.  As sunlight for the universe comes from the sun, so all light comes from Goloka.  All the universes come from Krishna in Goloka; this one universe we live in is insignificant.  Within the earth, U.S.A. is a small part, and in U.S.A., New York City is still more insignificant, “and in that NYC, this 26 Second Avenue is insignificant, and we are sitting here.  So just see how insignificant we are.  And we are claiming we are God.”

We laughed when Swamiji said that, we are here at 26 Second Avenue.  As he was saying it, we sensed it, getting more and more insignificant.  He laughed, too.  We are in one tiny corner of everything.  It is wonderful that he did that – and we can know it all comes from Krishna.  We get in touch with original Krishna by chanting.

I used to doodle these bass players all the time.  Now that I’m in Krishna consciousness, I should give it up.  Better to have them play in kirtan like the man who played bass when we had kirtan at Dr. Mishra’s asrama.  Otherwise, I want to let these things go from my past.  I only want to do things approved by my spiritual master.

That publisher from Chicago came to New York City.  He published a segment of my novel on Svevo.  He was surprised to find me a disciple of the Swami.  He came and sat on the floor with me in my apartment.  He wasn’t particularly impressed by my “religion.”  He noticed that the thumbnail on my left hand is filled with grooves and asked me if it had been injured.  “I’m not sure what it’s from,” I said, “maybe nail-biting.”  It was as if he wanted to say something actual, true and meaningful, personal, and perceptive, so he chose to comment on my pitiful-looking thumbnail.  But I am not this body.  Talking about my thumbnail didn’t bring us much of an intimate exchange.

Anyway, I said to him, maybe I can write a sequel to the novel telling how Svevo joined the Hare Krishna movement.  He said okay.  Rayarama came and met him.  Then the publisher left.  I don’t think I even have his address.  He’ll probably go see Murray and Steve and see what they’re writing.  His coming here was like a visit from my past self.  But I’m fixed in Krishna consciousness now.  I probably won’t find time to write that sequel.  I’m definitely not very interested in reliving the scenes with Eliot and Anna and all the stuff that Svevo went through.  But a sequel might be good for preaching purposes.

I asked Swamiji last night about whether I should write the sequel.  He said, “Yes, you can do it.”  I felt foolish telling him somebody wanted to publish something that I had written.  I didn’t want Swamiji to misunderstand.  He understood perfectly well.  He said, “But they should pay you.  Just because you are religious does not mean you should get less money or no money.  You should get more.”  That’s all he said.  So let’s see what happens about that.