A Glimpse from a Saturday Night in Swamiji’s Room

You can sit down, it’s a closed room and Swamiji is sitting on the other side of the little desk.  His desk is a tin suitcase.  Over Swamiji’s head is a calendar painting of Krishna playing His flute and standing on the world, and then over our heads here on the other side of the room, there’s a picture of Lord Caitanya, which the Swami sometimes glances at.  He’s sitting on his mat, which is the same mat he uses when he lies down to sleep.  His typewriter is also on the desk.  He rises early and does his work right here, the Srimad-Bhagavatam.

“Now a boy, Neal, is going to do some typing for me.”  When Swamiji speaks, you try to be part of it.  Don’t be an outsider who comes and raises doubts.  But when they come, then you get to observe the Swami answering questions, which is good for us.

Tonight you have a question: “Swamiji, you said that the souls leave Krishna and come into the material world out of envy.  So where does it say that in the scriptures?”  The Swami shows you in the Bhagavad-gita.  He says, “Chapter 7, verse 27.”  He gives you the book to read out loud: “All living beings are born into delusion, bewildered by dualities arisen from desire and hate.”  So there it is: Krishna says they come here out of envy and hate.  You say, “Hate sounds like too strong a word.”  But Swami says no, they actually hate God.  Then he gets strong in saying it.  I accept what he says.

It’s been a few months now, and you notice that some things he says you have heard before, but that’s all right — although it makes you wonder, if already some things are starting to be repeated, what does it mean?  But then, there’s so much more that you don’t know.  Anyway, the difference between the Swami and us is immeasurable.  It’s not just that he’s read a lot more books.  But he has direct realization of Krishna.  He says if we chant Hare Krishna we’ll also have realization, but I know that it’s not possible that we could ever have as much realization. 

He’s the pure devotee in this particular form, in a goldenish complexion, and an Indian body, elderly but strong looking, like a strong father or even grandfather.  You are drawn to him.  And the same truth will be conveyed to anyone who comes here.  They can accept it and see for themselves, the presence of a person who has a different consciousness than we do because he is a pure devotee of Krishna, and you can have faith in seeing him.  Those who don’t see him that way, it’s unfortunate.  If someone comes and doesn’t get a wonderful impression of the Swami, what can we do?  We can’t force them.  If they miss the point, it’s their mistake.  It doesn’t faze us.  Others are puzzled as to why he lets the hair grow out of his ears, or how come he’s wearing eyeglasses if he’s perfect?  But we see these as not inappropriate to a sage.

He is lovable because of his dedication to Krishna, but not lovable like a five-year-old kid is.  He is heavy.  If you just try to tell him why you don’t believe there is God, he can knock you down with intellectual arguments, and if need be, shout you down.  If you try to shout back, then everything is ruined.  Swamiji goes anywhere and meets anyone to preach, even if people aren’t receptive.  But he doesn’t regularly expose himself to people or places where he is mocked or harassed.  There has to be respect and then it can happen.  You can’t expect a guru to give Krishna to faithless persons.