Depending Deeply on Prabhupada

Dear Srila Prabhupada,
today I heard you on tape.
Your voice was weak,
but your logic very forceful;
you were intolerant with maya.
You said Indian culture
is “hopeless” due to “misleaders.”
“We do not care
if they do not agree with us.
If Krishna agrees we are satisfied.”

Listening to lectures, reading –
this all counts as meditation,
yet I feel absence.
I have no choice: either I
remember and talk,
or the absence and forgetfulness
get worse.  So I talk Prabhupada katha.

When you are bankrupt,
even a dream becomes an asset.
Something stirred within you,
it was ambiguous
but with a definite impression –
Prabhupada in your dream.
Did I dream last night,
but immediately forget?

There are lean days.
But you are able to think,
“I am in his movement.”
You go to your duties,
as if just performing them
is enough.  Morning lectures,
bowing down before pictures,
singing “Gurvastakam” …
There are lean days.
At least they remind me
that I hope for better.
Even a moment within a day,
to serve and rejoice
in the presence of Prabhupada.